glancing backwards
i was looking through my wardrobe for some old stuff i stored away when i moved away. instead, i dug up an old box containing my journals and schedule books dating back to 2001.
re-reading all that i wrote really brings me back... as journals are meant to do, duh... but it reminds me at how lost i was in so many ways. i totally lost myself there and i guess i really didn't find anything, but more negative space, which ended up defining the positive (if you follow that).
there was so much uncertainty in everything i wrote, nothing was defined for me at that time. if i could go back in time and talk to myself over there, would i be able to re-assure myself that the future would be, "ok"? is my life now really that "ok" to begin with? i do feel that i am in a much better mental state now. at the very least, i have a very clear goal of what i want to achieve by the end of this year and i feel much more secure and a little bit more accomplished...
life moves so fast doesn't it. with our cells dying and multiplying it is said that we are a "new" person every seven years... that all the old molecules have all been replaced.
i'd like to hear from the me seven years from now and let her tell me if i will be, "ok".
re-reading all that i wrote really brings me back... as journals are meant to do, duh... but it reminds me at how lost i was in so many ways. i totally lost myself there and i guess i really didn't find anything, but more negative space, which ended up defining the positive (if you follow that).
there was so much uncertainty in everything i wrote, nothing was defined for me at that time. if i could go back in time and talk to myself over there, would i be able to re-assure myself that the future would be, "ok"? is my life now really that "ok" to begin with? i do feel that i am in a much better mental state now. at the very least, i have a very clear goal of what i want to achieve by the end of this year and i feel much more secure and a little bit more accomplished...
life moves so fast doesn't it. with our cells dying and multiplying it is said that we are a "new" person every seven years... that all the old molecules have all been replaced.
i'd like to hear from the me seven years from now and let her tell me if i will be, "ok".
