re-discovering leisure

it's sad that i don't quite remember what leisure feels like. it's been a long time since i've done anything out of the mere idea of free time. to stroll the park or down the city streets, casual rendezvous with friends at cafe or music store, or even just "hang out" have become a foreign concept. i feel constant pressure to complete something, to keep moving, keep busy, keep an eye on the ball. long term goals, short term goals, and medium term goals... in constant flux. i'm beginning to wear thin. that's not good.