out of it

i don't feel like i belong anywhere... i live in this tiny bubble where all i can do is observe everyone passing by. all these changes that happened to people... to the world... i ran and ran trying to keep up, but eventually, i stumbled and fell... but everything still went by, nothing stops or slows down to wait for me... to help me catch up. makes me feel more like a stranger to everyone i knew. i feel so disconnected from everything.

i want more than anything to continue my journey, galavanting around the world. but at the same time, i also yearn to be where everyone i hold dear is located... i want to change with them... together. being so far away, i feel like i'm branching off on my own. not necessarily faster or slower... or better... just... different. and changing on my own, scares me... i feel like i'm losing my reliable network of support and is left on my own devices

i feel so far, so distant in this small space, where everything is within reach yet i know not how.

i feel so empty, so hollow in this colorful world... my rainbow world. yet my vision shows me black and white painted sights. i've turned my back against my own.

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to the news and the olds,
the ones i've forgotten and the ones i will one day forget.
.