crashing epiphany
My laptop totally crashed. Or rather, more precisely, it just stopped working out of the blue. I will spare you the boring details. But I’m back now, with nothing of my past data remaining. It’s like having your memory (literally) completely obliterated. And you don’t recall anything at all, much less whether it was happy or sad.
I am not unhappy. I am just overwhelmed by the lesson in it. This whole experience has in fact given me an epiphany of sorts. (This is where I start ranting, so please don’t expect me to make sense.) A realization of the connection between the realities of a laptop crash and the philosophy in religion.
Buddhism speaks time and again about the impermanence of this life and everything in this world, that has to do with emotions. A Samara of cyclic repetition. And that was my realization. That I/we seem to spend most of our time, shielding ourselves from the emergencies that we might incur.
Example: My laptop contained back ups of the data I have on my phone, camera and usb devices to make it more accessible should the need arise. I was trying to be efficient, at one point in my life. And having them all transfered to the laptop, saved me the trouble of having to dig through different devices, to find the right item I am looking for. The point being, most of my time was spent trying to attain convenience for myself, and keep my life to a minimum discomfort. That when I lost all my data with the laptop crash, I was more than surprised to find that life can and does go on without it just as well. Without that massive amount of data (which according to the repair man, cannot be retrieved). Do you see what I am trying to drive at?
Yes, I do miss my massive amounts of pictures and music. But truth be told, when did I ever have the time to look up those anymore? In fact, there are a lot of unopened CDs, just sitting there waiting to be opened for months on end! And, like I said, I am overwhelmed to discover how much of my life was spent in maintaining and saving things on a laptop, that I could have done without. Granted there is an inconvenience, that certain files are gone for ever, but not so much of it, that I miss it much at all. That is what was most surprising, that for days on end, I feel lost in thought. This overwhelming realization that:
1.) If there is no attachment, there is no pain of the loss.
2.) Much of the time has been spent in things irrelevant and inane to our quality of existence. Life is all about a series of distractions when you get right down to it!
3.) Which brings us to the 64,000 dollar question: What is our life really about?, if all the things in it are immaterial?
Like I said, I am not depressed or unhappy. Just astounded by the chain of thoughts released by the crash of my laptop.
My laptop has been fixed, and I am sure it will in it’s time be filled with utter nonsense, irrelevant to me, but somehow seeming important at that time. But it is very, very comforting to know that my life can go on, just as fine without it. And I might be better off with that extra time to take a walk and enjoy the beauty of the day, instead, if the weather is on my side. And in time, my epiphany is going to fade away, and my life will go on as before. The cyclic repetitions of nothingness, that bring with it a misguided sense of comfort in my cloister of illusions. But it was good while it lasted. This epiphany of mine.
I am not unhappy. I am just overwhelmed by the lesson in it. This whole experience has in fact given me an epiphany of sorts. (This is where I start ranting, so please don’t expect me to make sense.) A realization of the connection between the realities of a laptop crash and the philosophy in religion.
Buddhism speaks time and again about the impermanence of this life and everything in this world, that has to do with emotions. A Samara of cyclic repetition. And that was my realization. That I/we seem to spend most of our time, shielding ourselves from the emergencies that we might incur.
Example: My laptop contained back ups of the data I have on my phone, camera and usb devices to make it more accessible should the need arise. I was trying to be efficient, at one point in my life. And having them all transfered to the laptop, saved me the trouble of having to dig through different devices, to find the right item I am looking for. The point being, most of my time was spent trying to attain convenience for myself, and keep my life to a minimum discomfort. That when I lost all my data with the laptop crash, I was more than surprised to find that life can and does go on without it just as well. Without that massive amount of data (which according to the repair man, cannot be retrieved). Do you see what I am trying to drive at?
Yes, I do miss my massive amounts of pictures and music. But truth be told, when did I ever have the time to look up those anymore? In fact, there are a lot of unopened CDs, just sitting there waiting to be opened for months on end! And, like I said, I am overwhelmed to discover how much of my life was spent in maintaining and saving things on a laptop, that I could have done without. Granted there is an inconvenience, that certain files are gone for ever, but not so much of it, that I miss it much at all. That is what was most surprising, that for days on end, I feel lost in thought. This overwhelming realization that:
1.) If there is no attachment, there is no pain of the loss.
2.) Much of the time has been spent in things irrelevant and inane to our quality of existence. Life is all about a series of distractions when you get right down to it!
3.) Which brings us to the 64,000 dollar question: What is our life really about?, if all the things in it are immaterial?
Like I said, I am not depressed or unhappy. Just astounded by the chain of thoughts released by the crash of my laptop.
My laptop has been fixed, and I am sure it will in it’s time be filled with utter nonsense, irrelevant to me, but somehow seeming important at that time. But it is very, very comforting to know that my life can go on, just as fine without it. And I might be better off with that extra time to take a walk and enjoy the beauty of the day, instead, if the weather is on my side. And in time, my epiphany is going to fade away, and my life will go on as before. The cyclic repetitions of nothingness, that bring with it a misguided sense of comfort in my cloister of illusions. But it was good while it lasted. This epiphany of mine.
