the lump
it's almost 4 am in the morning and i woke up with a deep longing... my eyes opened and i could feel it filling up with tears. i lay still, not wanting to let any of it escape. but it filled up too quickly and eventually rolled out. i gave in and sat up. the tears streamed down so fast, quickly drenching my cheeks. i surrendered to the emotional outburst and cried uncontrollably.
i am once again reminded of the warm blanket that once wrapped me with comfort and security. the meals wrapped with glad-wrap, sitting patiently on the dinner table in the dark, waiting for me to get home to gobble it up. the annoying phone calls that i receive when i'm not home by midnight... the people that are just one phone call away whenever i needed to vent about the silliest things... the people that are prepared to accompany me for a midnight stroll along the banks or up on the peak. the company i had for late supper or drinks and smokes during trying times.
missing home is like having a heavy object press against your chest, and it's weird because sometimes you can really feel it, like a shortness of breath or something. something like a longing, a pull, except it's a pull from your heart while the rest of you stays behind. but it's weird because the emotion leaves your head and travels downward into your chest and just hangs out there, like some kind of... lump. that's the best word i've got for it. a lump.
i am once again reminded of the warm blanket that once wrapped me with comfort and security. the meals wrapped with glad-wrap, sitting patiently on the dinner table in the dark, waiting for me to get home to gobble it up. the annoying phone calls that i receive when i'm not home by midnight... the people that are just one phone call away whenever i needed to vent about the silliest things... the people that are prepared to accompany me for a midnight stroll along the banks or up on the peak. the company i had for late supper or drinks and smokes during trying times.
missing home is like having a heavy object press against your chest, and it's weird because sometimes you can really feel it, like a shortness of breath or something. something like a longing, a pull, except it's a pull from your heart while the rest of you stays behind. but it's weird because the emotion leaves your head and travels downward into your chest and just hangs out there, like some kind of... lump. that's the best word i've got for it. a lump.
